More shocking than Westlife

This article was originally published on a satirical news website, www.hayibo.com

DUBLIN. Irish Prime Minister, Brian Cowen has described Thierry Henry's Le Hand of God goal, which saw The Republic eliminated from the 2010 World Cup, as the biggest disaster to hit Ireland since the potato blight of 1845.

Irish eyes were crying on Thursday morning after the Barcelona striker tried out for the national handball team at the Stade de France, twice holding the ball on the way to creating the goal that knocked Ireland out of the tournament.

"We have experienced some massive disasters in our time," said Taoiseach Cowen.

"But if we made it through James Joyce's Ulysses or through Westlife and Boyzone, we can make it through this as well," he said.

Cowen acknowledged Ireland should have wrapped things up long before Henry intervened. "Rick O'Shea twice saw shots cannon back off the cross bar while his brother, Manchester United defender John, missed an open goal in the second half."

He said his office had been in touch with televangelists Bob Geldoff and Bono regarding the possibility of hosting a morale-raising concert.

"We'll call it Ball-Ache," he said.

"Sinead O'Connor can rip up a picture of Henry, Bono can be self-righteous and Geldoff will write another Christmas number one."

Cowen went on to admit that the reality of not going to South Africa is still sinking in. "I was really looking forward to the football and the craic," he said.

Cowen said his sources had informed him "the craic" in South Africa was the best in the world. "They say you can find it on every street corner," he said, "not just in the Temple Bar or whatever they call their party spot over there."

Meanwhile, asked to comment on the Irish situation a spokesperson for the Local Organizing Committee, Whiteknuckles Mbunyuza said the easiest way to ensure your participation at the World Cup was to host it. "I strongly recommend Ireland investigate that as an alternative qualification route next time," he said.